bag simulator 2020

{(set: $tried to false) (set: $head to false) (set: $looks to 0) (set: $hands to false) (set: $bookscleaned to false) (set: $shirtcleaned to false) (set: $paintingcleaned to false) (set: $specialvariable to true) (set: $a to (a: 'there are twelve books on the ground, having a sleepover', 'yesterdays shirt is next to the shirt before yesterday, like puppies sleepin in a pile. smells like dog.', 'you are a creative individual who values novelty (it is a mess)', 'you see your laptop. it is so far away. i need you so much closer', 'the blinds are closed but light shines through the bottom slit', 'your single vinyl figurine is in the corner, superb', 'a painting hangs askew')) [[you are in the bag]]}

[[let me out of the bag]] (if: $tried is true) [[look around]] (if: $look is true and $head is false) [[[take your head out of the bag|1]]] (if: $looks > 2) [[clean up your room fool|2]] (if: $aaaa is true and $hands is false) [[take your hands out of the bag]] (if: $cleaned is true) [[open the window]] (if: $cleaned is true) [[read a book]] (if: $cleaned is true) [[text a friend]]

(set: $tried to true) [[no|you are in the bag]]

{(set: $look to true) (if: $head is false) [you can't see anything because you are in the bag [[okay but i do not want to be|you are in the bag]]]} (if: $head is true) [(set: $looks to $looks + 1) you can see your room: (set: $r to (random: 1, $a's length)) (print: $a's ($r)) [[kind of a mess|you are in the bag]]]

(set: $head to true) [[you get your head out of the bag|you are in the bag]]

(set: $aaaa to true) (if: $hands is true) [[[i guess you will have to clean it now |3]]] (else:) [[[your hands are in the bag and also you are in the bag|you are in the bag]]]

(set: $hands to true) your hands are clammy like you left them but you kinda clap them together like crab claws to remind you that they're yours and you can use them [[relish the fingies|you are in the bag]]

you take a deep breath (after: 2s) [choose a thing to clean] (live: 4s) [ (if: $bookscleaned is false) [[Stack the books.]] (if: $shirtcleaned is false) [[Put your shirts in the laundry.]] (if: $paintingcleaned is false) [[Adjust the painting.]] (if: $paintingcleaned is true and $bookscleaned is true and $shirtcleaned is true)[(set: $cleaned to true) [[Your room is cleaned. At least for now.|you are in the bag]] ]]

(if: $cleaned is false) [ (if: $procrastinate is 0) [shit shit shit shit shit--] (else-if: $procrastinate is 1) [i warned you bro. i warned you about PROCRASTINATING] (else-if: $procrastinate is 2) [this is self care] (else-if: $procrastinate is 3) [your eyes are open, your chakras are blitzed, god has kissed you on the lips, and you are sobbing like a bitch] (else:) [relent i beg of you]] (else:) [You could do some good with this time.]] [[open your wips]] [[watch some youtube]] [[play broomball]] [[browse wikipedia]] [[look at where they are]] [[stare at the empty screen]] (if: $cleaned is false and $procrastinate > 2) [[stop|you are in the bag]] (if: $cleaned is true) [[put the computer down|you are in the bag]]

the last person you left posted a lot of pictures you don't understand what would compel someone to be more miserable being miserable with you than being miserable alone you consider sending a message [[do]] [[don't]]

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(set: $wips += 1) (if: $wips is 0) you look over your wips and manage (if: $wips is 1) (if: $wips is 2) (if: $wips is 3) (if: $wips is 4) (else: ) You sit down and start working on your fanfiction. It is coming along nicely, you are very fond of the characters and the dynamic between them is something you've always aspired to have in your own relationships... In the way their banter passes back [[...|[its computer time babey]]

Double-click this passage to edit it. ... [[...|[its computer time babey]]

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... summer rains always hit different, especially at night you didn't realize you'd slept in this late, or it might have been a nap, time is a little indeterminate right now, but it's evening, edging past dusk into the frustrated dim static of a storm-stricken sky you roll open your city smells like smoke and clover like the aftermath of barbeques and weeds like prosperity and childhood like ash and aftermaths you let yourself have this moment of melodrama [[when the lightningclap strikes]]

in the white light you see tomorrow and you imagine doing a little better {(if: $specialvariable is true) [[[so your friend texted you back|specialending]]] (else:) [[[it will take at least three days for your room to be this messy again so it kind of figures you will have a lot of free time tomorrow|normalending]]]}

so your friend texted you back [[yeah?]]

You clean up the book slump on the floor. [[polycule disbanded|you are in the bag]] (set: $bookscleaned to true) (set: $a to $a - (a: 'there are twelve books on the ground, having a sleepover')) (set: $a to $a + (a: 'your books are no longer having a sleepover but they are tastefully on top of each other...'))

You take the painting. And you just kind of. (live:1s) [(transition: "shudder")[Scrrrrkkrkrkrkrk]] (live:2s) [(transition: "shudder")[Screeeeekekeekek]] (live:3s)[(transition: "shudder") [//eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee//]] (live: 5s)[[[okay are you happy now|you are in the bag]]] (set: $a to $a - (a: 'a painting hangs askew')) (set: $a to $a + (a: 'a straightened painting hangs proudly on your wall. you can still hear the screams.')) (set: $paintingcleaned to true)

(text-rotate-x:2)+(text-rotate-y:298)+(text-rotate-z:346)[hell Fucking Yeah Book Time] You spend a good (random: 20, 50) minutes reading a book you've been meaning to get around to. This is enough time for you to make substantial progress, whatever that means for you. Even doing things in short bursts is a good start-- sometimes you set a little timer and put your phone away. It also reminds you of why you wanted to read so many books in the first place. [[can't wait to brag about this on (insert goodreads alternative here)|you are in the bag]]

you send your friend a really funny meme they heart it [[nice|you are in the bag]] (set: $specialvariable to true)

(bg:(gradient: 242, 0,#e61919,0.1299,#e68019,0.2955,#e5e619,0.4535,#19e619,0.6573,#1919e6,0.8815,#7f19e6,1,#e619e5))[take that you stupid fruity garfield decal shirt] [[and the kirbo shirt. and the and the thomas the dank engine shirt. all of your shirts are like this and everyone cries when they see them. but so do you. so do you.|you are in the bag]] (set: $shirtcleaned to true) (set: $a to $a - (a: 'yesterdays shirt is next to the shirt before yesterday, like puppies sleepin in a pile. smells like dog.')) (set: $a to $a + (a: 'your shirts are in the laundry. laundry shirts in the laundry area. where they are supposed to be. yeah'))

[[fuck you]]

it's a poem [[get on with it]]

//The Orange At lunchtime I bought a huge orange— The size of it made us all laugh. I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave— They got quarters and I had a half. And that orange, it made me so happy, As ordinary things often do Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park. This is peace and contentment. It’s new. The rest of the day was quite easy. I did all the jobs on my list And enjoyed them and had some time over. I love you. I’m glad I exist. — Wendy Cope // [[something doesn't need to be true everyday to work]]

[[it doesn't need to work everyday to be true]]

[[but it's nice, when you're getting along, to have someone who sends you poetry.]]

fin.